It’s hard.

It hurts like nothing you have ever felt. I am reminded of this as I received a bit of unfortunate news from a friend in the death of his best friend. All I can seem to do right now is think of the pain, crying, and suffering that one goes through during this tumultuous season. My head moves in a downward spiral only thinking of the pain and grief that I have gone through. Losing someone never really gets any easier does it? Some merely learn how to healthily or unhealthily deal with ones’ own issues. So what makes this moment feel so bad/strange? My friend and I have not spoken in a while yet, I am hurting for him. This is peculiar for me because I am typically someone who is not affected by things that are not right in front of me (physically in the same city). Yet, I am grieving for Chris in a way that I have not touched in a very long time.

So what does this all mean, where does this all lead? I guess, for starters, I am practicing what I preach. Living a life that is fully present. I am taking a moment to spend time grieving for my friend I am not concerned with anything else right now but processing and sitting in this moment to see what God is teaching me. I have a strong compulsion to brush it off and move on, however, something is different. I didn’t even answer my phone that was ringing just now. This is important and I am becoming fully human, and fully alive again. We need to take the time to grieve, to hurt, and cry. Why? Because something happens when we do this and when we come out of it there is a new perspective and the beauty of life and the grace that surrounds it all.

So don’t shrug off the next time you hear a bit of bad news, sit with it and ask God to show you something amidst the confusion and feelings.

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