Hey friends,
I have a new blog and website. We're taking this thing global!
Head on over to the new wrestling with truth website!!
Hope to see you there.
Some of my friends have blogs. Most of their blogs at some point go to a theological subject matter. The best part is when they do this there are people that show up or post comments on their blogs out of nowhere that think they have something to contribute to their thoughts and or life. My response to that is, WHO CARES! I do not care if you have something to post on my blog or other people’s blog on a subject matter. I am interacting with one of my friends. If you are not one of my friends I do not want to hear what you have to say about a.) b.) Or c.). Your opinion to me is not valid or important to me because you are not apart of my community therefore your opinion does not carry much weight in my life. So why would you spend 5 minutes of you’re life trying to criticize my life and my thoughts?
Think about it people, why do people comment on peoples blogs? Does your opinion really matter that much that what you have to say is going to greatly impact someone's life? Probably not.
If you are apart of my community and a friend then please by all means, comment on my blog. If you are not don't leave any comments.
Recently, I was promoted from a personal trainer to a fitness manager. For those who don't understand this I went from being just an entry level employee to person who manages the entry level employees. Exciting, don't you think? Nevertheless, this has brought on new challenges that I was not expecting. The first is trying to get a staff up to par is a lot harder then I first imagined. Egos, personalities, and lack of training all reside and are beckoning my attention in order for us to become more productive. Secondly, working this many hours has taken a toll on my creativity. My creativity is what brings me life. Its makes it easier for me to understand the areas of life I don't have the answers for by giving me a way to process. My music and songwriting has plummeted to a place that I am not comfortable with. Managing a team of trainers is one thing but managing how to fit the one thing I love to do more than anything is much, much harder. I am away from home for a total of 10 hours a day and when I get home its late and all I want to do is veg out. Weekends seem to get booked before tuesday is even finished diminishing any personal time for writing to a minimum. Ah the glories of advancement and more money. Notorious B.I.G was right... "mo money, mo problems."
Over the past couple of weeks I have been coming to grips with my own humanity. I am realizing more than ever before how capable I am of making big, not just big, but HUGE mistakes. I feel as I have become older my safety net is being pulled back and or disappearing all together. For so long I have felt that God had my back in all situations and would help me get out of tough situations. However, now that I am older and theologically educated I am realizing that yes, God still has my back, however, I am more aware of how much power and decisions God allows us to have in our lives.
I have the option to choose. To choose what I know is right. Or to choose what my flesh desires. It is in these moments I am realizing the darkest parts of myself. The parts I wish were not there. I have never been so aware of my sinful nature as I have been in the past four to six weeks.
For those evangelicals that need this part… yes, this is why I need a Savior.
But, if you are caught up on the fact that we need a Savior for us to realize those dark parts of our lives than you have missed what I am saying. I know I need to be “saved” from those dark areas and I have been; yet it does not mean they go away.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” I. Pt. 2:9
My problem with this verse is just because you have been set apart doesn’t mean your problems were set apart with you. You have been given the right as a human being, not a robot; to choose which way you want to go. It’s not easy. I mean can you imagine if you chose Jesus and all your problems went away? Everything was just set up and you had to just live life?
No thanks, that does not work for me. So I guess I’ll take the ________ pill.
p.s. If you want to debate context I’m well aware of what the passage is talking about. So do not waste your time trying to tell me Your context.
In the middle of a historic time of my life I have had to make several key decisions over the past couple of weeks. Some in which, have paid immediate dividends others, well, are causing more pain then a bountiful return. Initially, these times can be hard and stressful yet, I know there is something larger going on here. A place that is building muscle, strength that is unseen. Something that goes far deeper than any musculoskeletal fiber can show through my epidermis.
My undergraduate degree is in exercise physiology. I spent a good bit of time studying the human response under physical exertion at Western Michigan University. In order to build muscle one must first break down the fibers so they may be built back up again. A little thing we like to call protein synthesis, which is the physiological break down of what goes on in ones body to see muscle become stronger and grow. I believe there is a strong correlation between the physical and spiritual in regards to this matter.
I like to call this spiritual muscle; this is something my undergraduate degree did not teach, however, come to think of it neither did my seminary. We talked plenty about spiritual formation through practice of disciplines but never about spiritual muscle. Nor did we talk about the formation of our spirituality in the face of adversity. We spent time pointing to others who dealt with it but never really stepped out and said this is how we need to handle this situation. Why is it when faced with misfortune we find ourselves giving in, rolling over and dieing? This is a tragedy, instead of standing firm and learning from what one is enduring and gaining perspective and insight, we run. Not only does this keep us from building spiritual muscle but it also keeps us from developing integrity, character, and most of all, faith!
Are we truly like Peter? Are we stepping out of the boat, walking on water and then when things get a little choppy we lose sight of where we need to be focused on? Oh, me of little faith.
So what’s next? Look behind you and see he’s had you all along. Or, look in front of you and keep walking with your eyes fixed on what God’s called us to do. Take the step, extend the muscle out so it can go through protein synthesis and rebuild after being torn down. Even if it is spiritually speaking, the growth that will come out of it will be very evident and now you will be spiritually shredded!
Well, maybe not yet.
On the eve of my best friends engagement we were having a conversation about relationships, marriage and women, all things, which as men seem to be over our heads. Although tonight was different we dove into trying to use our combined master degrees to come up with some profound insight. To no avail, there was nothing mind blowing that would give us the upper hand, we couldn’t be further from the truth. We found ourselves coming back to this paradox of laying ourselves down yet still being confident in whom we are as men. I asked him how in the world do we lay ourselves down for her and yet not get walked on? He responded, “I don’t know, that is the mystery.”
Welcome to the tension that I live in, questions with no answers and a life, which is full of paradoxes with only living to be had. Knowing that the answers may vary. You get responses like, “Depends on the person,” or “Depends on the context,” or “Man, I don’t know I just know I am called to love my wife and to give myself up for her.”
My question is then who wins?
Wrong question.
It is not who wins and does not win, it is, are you putting that other person first? If you are putting her first and she is putting you first then you will meet in the middle. Unfortunately, this is in hypothesis form only. I wish I could say that this is “tried and tested,” the formula to turn America’s divorce rate around. But until the moment comes to have my ideas put into action then they are for now, a hypothesis.