Hey friends,
I have a new blog and website. We're taking this thing global!
Head on over to the new wrestling with truth website!!
Hope to see you there.
Some of my friends have blogs. Most of their blogs at some point go to a theological subject matter. The best part is when they do this there are people that show up or post comments on their blogs out of nowhere that think they have something to contribute to their thoughts and or life. My response to that is, WHO CARES! I do not care if you have something to post on my blog or other people’s blog on a subject matter. I am interacting with one of my friends. If you are not one of my friends I do not want to hear what you have to say about a.) b.) Or c.). Your opinion to me is not valid or important to me because you are not apart of my community therefore your opinion does not carry much weight in my life. So why would you spend 5 minutes of you’re life trying to criticize my life and my thoughts?
Think about it people, why do people comment on peoples blogs? Does your opinion really matter that much that what you have to say is going to greatly impact someone's life? Probably not.
If you are apart of my community and a friend then please by all means, comment on my blog. If you are not don't leave any comments.
Recently, I was promoted from a personal trainer to a fitness manager. For those who don't understand this I went from being just an entry level employee to person who manages the entry level employees. Exciting, don't you think? Nevertheless, this has brought on new challenges that I was not expecting. The first is trying to get a staff up to par is a lot harder then I first imagined. Egos, personalities, and lack of training all reside and are beckoning my attention in order for us to become more productive. Secondly, working this many hours has taken a toll on my creativity. My creativity is what brings me life. Its makes it easier for me to understand the areas of life I don't have the answers for by giving me a way to process. My music and songwriting has plummeted to a place that I am not comfortable with. Managing a team of trainers is one thing but managing how to fit the one thing I love to do more than anything is much, much harder. I am away from home for a total of 10 hours a day and when I get home its late and all I want to do is veg out. Weekends seem to get booked before tuesday is even finished diminishing any personal time for writing to a minimum. Ah the glories of advancement and more money. Notorious B.I.G was right... "mo money, mo problems."
The past couple of days at work we have been lucky to hear the XM radio station from 1990's rock and roll. This comes as such a wonderful treat to my ears. I work at 24-hour fitness and they play horrible music everyday. Most of which I would argue is not even music but people stringing vowels and syllables over rhythmic beats. However, someone switched the dial the other day and I was taken down memory lane when I heard a string of songs from the early years of Beck (Where it's at), Soundgarden (Burden in my Hand), Alice in Chains (Would), Rage Against the Machine (Bulls on Parade), Foo Fighters (Big Me), Silverchair (Israel's Son), Pearl Jam (Better Man) and of course Nirvana. Now you may say, "most of those bands are still around." True, they are still around, but these were songs that made them infamous! Songs that you may not have heard for a while minus Nirvana (which is overplayed) but, refreshes my inner ear to appreciate the era that spawned my love for music!
As each new song started playing I started yelling out an emphatic, "Yes!" Accompanied by a fist pump into the sky and a peculiar look from my clients. Now, I must also tell you that this music in my gym was very short lived because the man that runs the club has no concept for what is good music. I absolutely despise hearing the same Top 40 hits from the pop/R&B/hip-hop charts over and over again. That short span of songs from the 90's was enough to lighten my day and give me the courage to endure another 5 hours of bad "music" while I train my clients. So I encourage you spend the weekend listening to your old 1990's albums. If you have them on your computer and use iTunes you can create a smart playlist, which will sort by the year if you so choose. Try it and be amazed what it does for you and the memories that it will conjure up. You may ask why is this a big deal? I was not allowed to listen to "secular" music until I was 16, although I would sit close to the TV and turn the volume down so I could watch MTV. I still remember the songs from the era and the tremendous impact it had and is still having on me 12 years later.
I am the lead singer and guitarist for a rock band in Los Angeles called LEAP YEAR and we have one of our biggest shows coming up on February 29th, 2008. This not only is my birthday, our cd release party, but a dream come true for me. I get to play a show on my birthday (which only comes every four years) with my band where we will be headlining the night at one of L.A.'s premiere venues The El Rey Theatre. I am so excited about this opportunity! Since our last performance at the Knitting Factory I received some constructive feedback asking for a stronger performance out of the band. We played a really tight show yet, was not as high energy as some of the other shows we have played. Now as the lead singer I feel a lot of that falls on me. Granted, there are 3 others in the band who can contribute to that but I feel that the connection to the show runs through me. I'm not being greedy for attention but trying to find a better way to put on a good show.
Now, there are different views on what makes a good show some think that a good show is a really tight set with good musicianship and good songs. The second is one goes to a show and wants to be entertained by a band. Such as a band that may not have really good music or musicianship but highly entertaining through the movement and performance from the members in the band. The last view is that a good show is comprised of an entertaining performance, good musicianship, tight set, and good songs. This last view is the one that I subscribe to... example: U2 (generic but point proven) so my question is how do we get to that last level. I'm not looking for us to become U2 but how can we put on a show that is stellar from top to bottom.
To perform or not to perform: that is the question. I have had people in my life discourage me from performing and playing to a crowd and over the last year I have been trying to rid this voice in my head. However, I believe there is a balance that one can be performing yet, inviting into the performance. Allowing the audience to become apart of this experience is key in this and hopefully, a powerful experience! Take a look at Bono from U2 he is the quintessential front man. He is engaging, entertaining, a showman, commanding, and lastly a worship leader. Somehow he is able to juggle all of these abilities to connect with everyone in the room and there are over 20,000 in attendance! I don't want to be Bono I want to be me but I'm still fighting that voice that allows me to be the performer I am meant to be on stage. I was raised on stage from the age of 5 so performing is apart of who I Am. Now, what does that look like for me? What is too much or to little, what is too arrogant, or pretentious? I guess the first start is to silence the voices from the past and move forward.
Any thoughts from what makes some of your favorite frontmen or frontwomen good performers?
Over the past couple of weeks I have been coming to grips with my own humanity. I am realizing more than ever before how capable I am of making big, not just big, but HUGE mistakes. I feel as I have become older my safety net is being pulled back and or disappearing all together. For so long I have felt that God had my back in all situations and would help me get out of tough situations. However, now that I am older and theologically educated I am realizing that yes, God still has my back, however, I am more aware of how much power and decisions God allows us to have in our lives.
I have the option to choose. To choose what I know is right. Or to choose what my flesh desires. It is in these moments I am realizing the darkest parts of myself. The parts I wish were not there. I have never been so aware of my sinful nature as I have been in the past four to six weeks.
For those evangelicals that need this part… yes, this is why I need a Savior.
But, if you are caught up on the fact that we need a Savior for us to realize those dark parts of our lives than you have missed what I am saying. I know I need to be “saved” from those dark areas and I have been; yet it does not mean they go away.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” I. Pt. 2:9
My problem with this verse is just because you have been set apart doesn’t mean your problems were set apart with you. You have been given the right as a human being, not a robot; to choose which way you want to go. It’s not easy. I mean can you imagine if you chose Jesus and all your problems went away? Everything was just set up and you had to just live life?
No thanks, that does not work for me. So I guess I’ll take the ________ pill.
p.s. If you want to debate context I’m well aware of what the passage is talking about. So do not waste your time trying to tell me Your context.
I have been reading a lot of online garbage, thats right garbage, from people who do not like Rob Bell.
If you are apart of that community who does not like Rob...
GET OVER IT!
The man is doing amazing things for the advancement of the Kingdom. What are you doing?
He does not answer theological issues the way you want them answered. Guess what, a lot of people would not answer the leading question that has been asked if they knew the sinister intent that people had to exploit them. So why do you deserve an answer? Guess what, the Bible (you know the inspired Word of God) has a lot of questions we cannot answer. Paradoxes that make the mind spin! That is the beauty of it. The more we can embrace and live in the tension of those differences the sooner people will see we're not crazy after all! Hopefully, they will see that this is a "conversation" (oooh emerging buzz word which was big 4 years ago, yet some are just now finding out about.) worth having rather than getting irate and closed off from the Gospel.
Phew that was close.
Think about it.
And if you think he's a heretic... guess what, maybe your favorite theologian was considered one too at one time (Calvin, Luther, etc.)
It is no surprise to me that religion, and even Christianity are hot button issues. Early yesterday while I was at work one of my co-workers asked me what I used to do for a job. I told him that I was a Jr. High youth pastor. He was taken back and was quite surprised that I am now personal training. Am I really that much of a heathen? Nevertheless, he was sharing some of his viewpoints and personal beliefs and all the while we were talking about our views and not once did the conversation ever become hostile. It was a great conversation. I shared my views and he shared his. We provided commentary on what we thought the original text truly meant when it was written (read the Gospels or NT.) There are a lot of views on Jesus, the Gospels, Paul, and the New Testament, but just because I have a Masters degree from Fuller Theological Seminary does not mean that I have all the answers theologically or about God!
My co-worker and I do not see eye to on anything theological or even in religious views however, it did not mean I look down upon him nor do I think any less of him. If anything I think more of him because he’s wrestling. He’s thinking about what he believes and that’s great. Good for him. He does not have to believe what I do that is totally up to him. His decision.
However, it is not my responsibility to win him to Christ. I know many people that would have asked if I presented him with “the Gospel?” Since when did Jesus become a sales transaction? Does it really matter if I did or did not? We as Christians need to understand that God may not be using me to be the one who “CONVERTS” a new believer but merely, to be someone to show him that not all Christians are one way and to extend the love of Christ to him by forming a relationship with him. I would hope that my words are not the only reason why people come to know Jesus, but because of how I live my life. My life should be indicative of the God I serve.
Somehow, the Church has missed this as well. We get so caught up in arguing about how to witness (or whatever theological stance it may be) to someone that by the time they’re done arguing more people are leaving the Church rather than joining it. The sooner that the Church embraces the strengths in which it was founded upon and less on the personal discrepancies the sooner that people will start trusting “The Church” again, and hopefully walking back through the doors. So whatever denomination you affiliate yourself with or whatever theologian you adore we are all still in this thing together. The Bible is full of paradoxes and mysteries we will never be able to figure it all out, nor do I want to! If you want to good for you just don’t make me subscribe to your same convictions
In the middle of a historic time of my life I have had to make several key decisions over the past couple of weeks. Some in which, have paid immediate dividends others, well, are causing more pain then a bountiful return. Initially, these times can be hard and stressful yet, I know there is something larger going on here. A place that is building muscle, strength that is unseen. Something that goes far deeper than any musculoskeletal fiber can show through my epidermis.
My undergraduate degree is in exercise physiology. I spent a good bit of time studying the human response under physical exertion at Western Michigan University. In order to build muscle one must first break down the fibers so they may be built back up again. A little thing we like to call protein synthesis, which is the physiological break down of what goes on in ones body to see muscle become stronger and grow. I believe there is a strong correlation between the physical and spiritual in regards to this matter.
I like to call this spiritual muscle; this is something my undergraduate degree did not teach, however, come to think of it neither did my seminary. We talked plenty about spiritual formation through practice of disciplines but never about spiritual muscle. Nor did we talk about the formation of our spirituality in the face of adversity. We spent time pointing to others who dealt with it but never really stepped out and said this is how we need to handle this situation. Why is it when faced with misfortune we find ourselves giving in, rolling over and dieing? This is a tragedy, instead of standing firm and learning from what one is enduring and gaining perspective and insight, we run. Not only does this keep us from building spiritual muscle but it also keeps us from developing integrity, character, and most of all, faith!
Are we truly like Peter? Are we stepping out of the boat, walking on water and then when things get a little choppy we lose sight of where we need to be focused on? Oh, me of little faith.
So what’s next? Look behind you and see he’s had you all along. Or, look in front of you and keep walking with your eyes fixed on what God’s called us to do. Take the step, extend the muscle out so it can go through protein synthesis and rebuild after being torn down. Even if it is spiritually speaking, the growth that will come out of it will be very evident and now you will be spiritually shredded!
Well, maybe not yet.
Loss.
It’s hard.
It hurts like nothing you have ever felt. I am reminded of this as I received a bit of unfortunate news from a friend in the death of his best friend. All I can seem to do right now is think of the pain, crying, and suffering that one goes through during this tumultuous season. My head moves in a downward spiral only thinking of the pain and grief that I have gone through. Losing someone never really gets any easier does it? Some merely learn how to healthily or unhealthily deal with ones’ own issues. So what makes this moment feel so bad/strange? My friend and I have not spoken in a while yet, I am hurting for him. This is peculiar for me because I am typically someone who is not affected by things that are not right in front of me (physically in the same city). Yet, I am grieving for Chris in a way that I have not touched in a very long time.
So what does this all mean, where does this all lead? I guess, for starters, I am practicing what I preach. Living a life that is fully present. I am taking a moment to spend time grieving for my friend I am not concerned with anything else right now but processing and sitting in this moment to see what God is teaching me. I have a strong compulsion to brush it off and move on, however, something is different. I didn’t even answer my phone that was ringing just now. This is important and I am becoming fully human, and fully alive again. We need to take the time to grieve, to hurt, and cry. Why? Because something happens when we do this and when we come out of it there is a new perspective and the beauty of life and the grace that surrounds it all.
So don’t shrug off the next time you hear a bit of bad news, sit with it and ask God to show you something amidst the confusion and feelings.
Upon viewing the film "Trade" (2007) by Marco Kreuzpainter, the scales have been removed from my eyes by this frightening film, which portrays the horror that goes on with in the world of sex trade. Jorge (Cesar Ramos Ceballos) is an older brother in a pursuit to rescue his kidnapped 13-year-old virgin sister Adrianna (Paulina Gaitan). During his relentless pursuit through Mexico he comes across Ray (Kevin Kline), a husband and Texas police officer who is also in search for something or someone. The alliance between the two to save Adrianna from a life of sexual slavery takes them from the underground life in Mexico to suburban New Jersey, in an attempt to find her before she can be sold through an Internet sex slave auction.
The film begins with an amazing array of colors, as the camera zooms in and out of various shots from with in Mexico City. The lighting and juxtaposition of each shot communicates the piece of art that Marco has created with in the first five minutes and prepares the viewers for what they are about to see. Although the color and cinematography are well done, the strongest part of the film lies in the content and the message, which is being communicated to the viewers. Marco does a fine job of building tension to a point in which it becomes hard to watch and then releasing the tension throughout the film. The dialogue between Jorge and Ray communicates a message about today’s youth and their lack of trust in adults however, as the film progresses their interaction is heart warming and comedic at times providing an emotional break for the viewer.
The truth that lies behind such a horrific act by perverse men and women who are engulfed in a life of sex trade is difficult for Americans to believe. For so many, including myself it is easy to believe it is happening everywhere else but America; however, there are an estimated 50,000 - 100,000 children sold each year within the United States.
There are amazing moments of hope and beauty throughout the film between Adrianna and another slave Veronika (Alicja Bachelda-Curus). Veronika’s character becomes a figure of strength in which the other slaves lean on and view her strength in standing against the henchmen who are delivering them to their destination. Hope is also communicated in which stands out between Veronika and Adrianna one morning when Adrianna roles over in bed, smiles at Veronika and says good morning amidst the pain, and evil around the two of them. The second reason for hope is conveyed by the religious tones throughout the film as a heavy Catholic emphasis is spoken of as well as the symbolism in different shots through the film. Even one of the henchmen is seen praying to the cross leaving the viewer with a mixed set of emotions on what prayers will be listened and or answered by God.
There are so many amazing moments in this film one cannot begin to bring it any justice from one review. Go see the film, dialogue with others about this topic and then look for a way to become more educated on this incredible tragedy going on with in our country and many others. For more information on sex trafficking see stopthetraffik.org
p.s this film review was posted on www.beliefnet.com, click on the title to see the trailer for this fil that will be released
April 13th Nationwide
I am currently at the Sundance Film Festival. I know you're jealous. So far the trip has been amazing, over the next couple of days I'm going to post some of my reviews on various films I have seen.
On the eve of my best friends engagement we were having a conversation about relationships, marriage and women, all things, which as men seem to be over our heads. Although tonight was different we dove into trying to use our combined master degrees to come up with some profound insight. To no avail, there was nothing mind blowing that would give us the upper hand, we couldn’t be further from the truth. We found ourselves coming back to this paradox of laying ourselves down yet still being confident in whom we are as men. I asked him how in the world do we lay ourselves down for her and yet not get walked on? He responded, “I don’t know, that is the mystery.”
Welcome to the tension that I live in, questions with no answers and a life, which is full of paradoxes with only living to be had. Knowing that the answers may vary. You get responses like, “Depends on the person,” or “Depends on the context,” or “Man, I don’t know I just know I am called to love my wife and to give myself up for her.”
My question is then who wins?
Wrong question.
It is not who wins and does not win, it is, are you putting that other person first? If you are putting her first and she is putting you first then you will meet in the middle. Unfortunately, this is in hypothesis form only. I wish I could say that this is “tried and tested,” the formula to turn America’s divorce rate around. But until the moment comes to have my ideas put into action then they are for now, a hypothesis.
In reflection on 2 Corinthians the passage, which stood out the most, was chapter twelve. The reasoning for this is because more than a lot of other Pauline writings we find Paul writing from a place of authenticity. A place in which he is ashamed of and longs for God to take this thorn out of his side. Here in lies the greatness of this piece of text. In verse nine we read Jesus say to Paul that his grace is sufficient for him, and that Jesus power is made perfect in his weakness. Paul goes on to finish this passage by saying, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” It is almost as if Paul is saying, “Brown is the new black.” This is a phrase that says this is the new way of doing things. These are the new trends in fashion. Paul is saying, “Weak is the new strong.”
For when one finds his or herself weak they are strong. Because when we surrender our expectations or our inhibitions we can find that we are weak and in need of help from our Creator. Often in our culture and our approach to mission we try everything our way first. Then after failure happens we then turn to God for help. This is backwards if we look at what Paul has told us to do. In our weakness we need to turn to Jesus first from that point of weakness there comes strength. This is such a revolutionary way of thinking and doing things. If we were to first surrender our desires for what our King desires then we are admitting to our weakness and are in need of strength. We cannot do this on our own.
This also applies to our own struggles when we are in ministry or on the mission field. We all have personal thorns things in which we feel that we are not worthy of doing ministry, yet there is grace. There is something in which Jesus does when he takes us at our point of weakness. A place when we feel that we are not worthy of advancing the kingdom and we find Jesus saying to us, “My grace is sufficient.” If this passage is not a “sigh of relief” for us as Christians then I do not know what relief may look like? Jesus offers us something that we are clearly not worthy of but because of our weakness he is able to shine through.
We are incredibly blessed to have this opportunity for our weaknesses to now become strengths. We no longer have to live in fear that God will not use us because of our downfalls. When we live under a way of living that weak is the new strong we can experience freedom at its fullest form. Paul follows up in saying that we should not be afraid of our weakness more over we should be glad because we know that God will shine through the darkness and the light will be seen for all.
Spiritual disciplines and spiritual practices have become quite familiar in my vocabulary since coming to Fuller Seminary. In the book Streams of Living Water by Richard J. Foster he elaborates on six essential practices for Christians to experience a fuller life with Jesus Christ. However, they are not items in which are rooted in a fluffy idea or a new concept to market to the uber-spirtual. They are traditions, which are founded in Christ then observed and compared to others throughout history. Foster also holds these traditions with biblical truths. His integration of the Trinity is a breath of fresh air and is encouraging to find a book, which is grounded in history, the bible, and the work of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
In the first chapter Foster is setting up the format of where the book is going. He forms a clear outline for the remaining chapters of the book. Communicating a brief synopsis of what to expect. His writing style is easy and smooth incorporating scholarly points as well as careful reflection of what the Spirit is doing in these practices.
The second chapter launches into the body of the book by talking about the contemplative life. Which is a life that is bathed in prayer. At the beginning of the chapter he shows the history of the more important individuals who have helped shaped our understanding and growth in prayer. This level of intimacy with God is shown by the intimacy that was experienced by Jesus disciple John. The careful dissection of John’s life with Jesus is an excellent model of how John’s life was transformed by living in such close relation with Jesus. The contemplative tradition is nothing with out love. This has been a great reminder that if we are not in love with God then how are we going to ever be able to talk to him? It is so apparent that our baggage gets in the way of our relationship with Jesus and that we often are sidetracked by our lives and discouragements pulling us out of prayer with God therefore leaving us feeling as if we are not close to him at all. The contemplative tradition is vital for the Christian life to flourish.
Holiness is something that is often overlooked in our culture today. In the third chapter Foster talks about how important a Holy life style is crucial for our Christian faith. He gives great examples on the holy lifestyle is not about perfection but about being transformed into wholeness with Christ. Holiness is about the transformation of the heart not the perfection of ones life in their works. Holiness has been misconstrued in our culture. Instead of embracing the lifestyle and practice it seems that we have moved to the other side giving more grace but not pushing others to get back on track with their walk with the Lord. Foster stresses throughout the chapter Holiness is not about perfection and tries to embrace our imperfection but striving for something more than what we could ever imagine for our lives.
I am sitting in Shockoe Espresso in Richmond, VA on VACATION!!! Why Richmond you ask? Why not? My buddy Dan and his wife Kate live down here now because Dan is attending VCU's AdCenter, a graphic design institution. Tonight we are going on a Photo Safari.
What is a photo safari? Stay tuned over the next couple of days and you will have a better understanding. I will be posting pictures on my flickr account of the photo safari. However, the definition of a photo safari is when you walk around a certain location shooting pictures as an art form. I am a beginner at this stuff so hang tight if the pictures are not that great.
We are going to start doing a podcast every week for our youth ministry. I am so excited about this, you have NO idea. The purpose behind it is to remove our announcements on Sunday mornings and to also engage with culture and the things that maybe our students would like to know about. So we'll see how it turns out. Click on the title of the blog to download it. We will be putting it on iTunes as well so be on the look out.
I am currently wrestling with my next step. What will it look like, will it be better than where I am currently? Will I be given more opportunities or will be merely looked at as the youth guy? Will I be given more responsibility and seen as an adult or will they continue to treat me as just the youth guy? Who only knows “on how to work with the students and does not have any relevance or validity to teach us as the adult congregation.”
My problem is not with ‘the church’ but with my current situation. I am interested in working for a church that embraces youth, not just teenagers but twentysomethings as well. The sooner that these older churches begin to embrace the youth of this nation the sooner the church will begin to see growth. True growth is not going to come from older people or boomers however; it will come from the youth of today. The teenagers, twenty to thirtysomethings are the future of the church. We need to see them as that. We need to understand that the boomers are already in the church and if there is growth of boomers in your church it is not real growth (new Christians or non-Christians) it is lateral growth. That lateral growth is comprised of people who are looking for the next big thing, the latest Christian fad, this is not true growth in a church but it is a mirage of something that is actually happening. Empower us let us take steps on our own, let us make mistakes so that we can learn and grow. Because church is not supposed to be perfect the only thing that is perfect is the God that we worship!
The current state I am in a dangerous one. Why you ask? Well, I had created a new post and did not want to leak my heart out to the iNet so I deleted it. I have got new music pumping in the background, acoustic rock offering a person's heart on their sleeve and a catchy progression with honest lyrics. This is a dangerous combination if you know me. It will either lead me to write 5 new songs in an evening or self reflect to the point of narcissism, which only leads to more problems then actually helping. Nevertheless, I enjoy these moments. These are the moments I enjoy being single. No worries about taking care of someone else, no worries what I should be doing. Just drew time.
no finals, no school work, no work, no responsibilites, just drew time.
hold on, hold on, hold on, would you let me know you are here. - new lyric for a new song.
p.s. here is the new t-shirt design I made for my youth group.
Last night I was having a conversation with my roommate who shares the same name about personalities and people. He made a statement that sent me reeling. His statement was that I am not like anyone else he's meet and that I am very different (in a good way.) His reasoning for this is because I am an athlete, I like sports and go crazy about Michigan sport teams, I work out, I like to look nice with things of clothing and hairstyle (hipster), however, I am a music snob (which means I have a vast knowledge of music and am quite critical), I play music, I am an artist, theologian, and was in a fraternity, then the last pitch is a curveball. I am a youth pastor. These are all so different, just when you think you've got me pegged I switch it on you. I am not sure why I am this way, with each stage of my life there are things that are revealed to me about who I truly am, I do not negate the things of the past yet I embrace them as who I am still as well as embracing things of who I am now.
I would like to think of myself as a melting pot, rather than a chameleon. Melting pot seems to have a better connotation than a chameleon, which I thinks carries a negative connotation because you are always changing and not allowing people to get to know the real you. Nevertheless, I do allow everyone to see who I am this is central to how I live my life, transparent.